please come you make the beer taste better
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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