I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
