no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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