i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
