So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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