dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
