last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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