Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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