I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
