It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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