I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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