did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
