He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
