It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
