I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
