whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
