the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize