doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
