hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
