There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize