i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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