WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
