ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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