All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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