I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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