So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
