You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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