I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
