Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
