i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
