Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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