I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize