Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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