ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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