we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
