help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
