I have demons in me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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