I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize