If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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