i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
