Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
