he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You should frame my arrest warrant.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
