i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
