I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
