This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
