He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
