no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
