I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
