I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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