It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize