i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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