he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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