Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
