If that was your dad, he is hot
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
