i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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