The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
