I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
did you just send me my own nude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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