I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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