you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
