i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We have so much sex to catch up on
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
