Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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