I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
