Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
