Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
