Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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