if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize