i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
